April 2014 archive

Fashion Gene

Bert Kaufmann via Compfight

Do you have the Fashion Gene?  Maybe there is not a fashion gene, but I think there is.

Have you noticed how some people always looks stylish and know what clothes to choose?  You look at these people and think did they come out of the womb with everything coordinated with the best colors for their skin tone, the most flattering lengths and the correct fit.   I have wondered about that more in the last ten years as I examined my wardrobe and appearance. How do they know this stuff? Did they take a class? Did a parent or a friend show them what to wear?

Fortunately, I have Lori to try to steer me in the right direction.  She introduced me to a blog called Tina Adams Wardrobe Consulting.

This blog is sent to my e-mail and I can read the “What to do and what not to do”. I read it faithfully!  I also purchased a discounted package offered by Style Blueprint from Tina Adams to get some help with my wardrobe.  This was done by phone and was helpful, but you need someone with you.  The biggest help I have had is my friend Lori sitting in my closet and supporting me as I threw away 90% of my capris and two garbage bags full of clothes.  Lori has the “gene”, and she understands my likes/dislikes and body type.

To understand how my closet got in this mess, you must know my fashion problems. The first problem being the word SALE!  I get excited when I see that word, and I can feel the adrenaline rush. 70% off – Really, does it get any better than that. I am trying to ask myself these questions now when I see the four letter word: Would you buy it if it was not on sale? Do you need it?

I also get fixated on needing one particular thing. I love cardigans, so I would keep buying them. My friend, Melissa, would shake her head every time I held one up at a store. I would also forget what I had at home and what I needed to wear with a certain pair of pants or top.

It is very frustrating to have a room full of clothes—not a closet—a room full of clothes and feel as if you have nothing to wear.

I have found these “fashion laws” from Tina and others to help me.

  • Sale does not translate to “you need to buy it” in any language.
  •  You can dress age appropriate and not look like your great- grandmother
  •  White pants can be worn year around—This Southern girl was so happy to read that.
  • Just because it looks good on the 5”11  – 120 pound model does not mean it is going to look good on you.
  • Trendy is trendy- It may not work next year, so save your money.

Are fashion rules the same throughout the country, or do they change as you venture to other parts of the world? I will come back to that question when I begin my summer journey.

Be kind to all of us who are missing the fashion gene and help us when you can! Do you have the fashion gene?

How a person dresses says so much about them, but as we all know, the heart and soul is the most important part of any person and the only parts that really matter.

Band-Aids to your Heart

photo credit: BWJones via photopin cc

After having a life altering event happen, my friends and my daughter came to the rescue. My gratitude for these people makes my heart swell. My friends invest in me with their heartfelt hugs, kind words, and memories of good times.

My dear Alabama Crimson Tide friend:  She comforts me at work, and she takes me to lunch. She tells me to remember that you are a strong, independent, beautiful, intelligent woman. One person’s dumbass actions has no bearing on who you are as a person.
AL glass
Remember those words:

One person’s dumbass actions has no bearing on who you are as a person.

Then on Saturday night, she hires a town car to pick me up with her in the back waiting on me with a tall glass with a big A and Crimson Tide on the side.  It was filled to the brim with Grey Goose and cran-apple juice – my favorite drink! She made sure my drink was never empty for the entire night, and this Ole Miss girl sucked it down. We then go to her house and her husband cooks the best grilled chicken that I have ever eaten in my life. He will not tell me the rub he concocted, but I will keep asking him and hopefully share it with you later. The hugs and conversation helped me relax and enjoy the night.  Note to my life roommates:  Give someone your phone to keep until the next morning. Even though I did receive a wonderful picture with the cutest jewelry in the center.

bandaid_1My oldest friend shared with me her present that she had received the previous week.

I had this little bird in my possession to point at evil. I even rubbed it like a Genie Lamp a few times, and it would calm me down.

I was filled with her love every time I looked at the little bird.

My daughter hugged me and had my back. Both of my daughters are strong supporters of whatever I do. The great part is that it does not matter what I do.

Their unconditionally love is always a constant in my life.

bandaid_2My dear friend who loves life and is always positive offered support and help when I needed a lifeline, and he offered to help me with a fun filled plan of action.

He is a handsome, strong, protective warrior, and he is kind. (He loves to throw Frisbees at the beach.)

Without all of these strong and loving people, it would have been a tough weekend. I would have survived this situation, but it was so much easier with the love and support of my friends.  Be there for your friends and love them through whatever they may be facing.

What does your friend do for you when he/she knows you are hurting?

Friends Through Thick and Thin

photo credit: honey-bee via photopin cc

Good day to all!

My friends are my lifeline to love, compassion, support and laughter.

I do not know how your friends fit in to your life or what they bring to your table of life, but my friends help me to navigate and enjoy my life.  Our friends meet needs in our life that cannot be met by our lovers or by our families.

Why do I love my friends? I love them because I can call them at any hour of the day, and they will listen to me.  Even the trivial stuff, even the gross stuff… I can discuss the shoe sale at Belk or the jean sale at the GAP, but I can also talk about my sex life or my fears or the gravity force that is pulling on my body. It does not matter what the subject is my good friends listen. Some friends are so close to you that they feel your pain, and they feel your joy.  While they may be thinking, “You are a dumbass.” They still love you and care about your happiness.

My friend who has been by my side since junior high is all about perspective. Our backgrounds and trials in life have been very similar.   She helps me to see my world in a different way.  “Take a step back, Wanda, and rise above the situation; look at this from all perspectives. It will help you to understand their behavior, and it will keep you from reacting in the wrong manner.”  — which I sometimes do especially when my chimp, Bertha the bitch, takes over.

It is also great that when life takes you down different paths, and you do not get to talk to a dear friend for a little while, but you see each other and pick up right where you left off.

Laughter is another wonderful thing that my friends share with me. I have so many wonderful memories of trips and laughter and love shared between my friends. The stress release of laughter and the great feeling of being in a safe place where you can say what you feel allows you to enjoy life and handle the ups and downs of your life.

What is the funniest memory you have with your bff?

A Crack in My World: Retire?

photo credit: fiddleoak via photopin cc

I realized one winter day that I could live with disappointment but not regret. It was a life changing decision, and it put a little crack in my world.

Should I walk away from a job  that I enjoyed to retire from this occupation and  venture out of my comfort zone and try something different?

We are creatures of habit, and we feel safe in repetition which give us a false sense of control. Why do you continue this job, relationship, habit, etc.? The typical answer from someone as he/she gets this strange look in his/her eyes is “Because that is what I have always done.” This behavior is considered the norm, and even though it may not be the only pathway, it is the one chosen day after day.     When ask “Why”, there is at times a silence because the person does not know why, but because that is what he/she has always done, and it is accepted by society as the correct way or the only way, the behavior continues.

Would I survive if I did not work twelve hours a days and answer e-mails 24/7?   Being a type A personality and a “If I am not producing results then I am wasting my time”  kind of girl, that question was daunting then I thought about the times when I come home from work and I begin working again and when I get up on Saturday morning and Sunday morning and begin working. There are times when I do not want to work, but what do I wish I was doing?  Well, that was another hard question, my life roommates, because I do not remember what I did do when I did not work two or three jobs and attend softball games with my girls.

Through soul searching, I found the answers to the questions listed below:

Will I retire from my job? Yes.

Will I work full time again? Maybe.

What will I do with my time? No definite answer which is what makes this SO much fun.

Will I start a blog because it is something I have always wanted to do? Yes.

Will I work part time? Yes.

Will I starve? No, my family, friends, and my man will not let me starve.

While I am not advocating for all of my life roommates to quit your job, leave your partner, or make major life altering decisions, I want to share my journey with you and hope it makes you think about what you want your journey to be.

Change

heygirl

You are not a tree.

Why would you stay somewhere when you are not happy?

This somewhere could be a job that is not challenging or fulfilling, a relationship where there is no love or passion and many other “somewheres” that only you know in your heart. Fear, loyalty, passive aggressive tendencies, and laziness – four reasons people choose to be stay somewhere they do not want to be.

Fear is something that we all feel on a daily basis. Some are good at pushing it under the carpet and trying not to focus on what they fear while others confront fear head on and try to figure out why they are fearful of change. Is it because life as they know it will never be the same?  If “same” is so great then why do you feel that pull toward change. We say to ourselves, “Something has got to change, but then we do nothing to make it happen.” If the thought of changing something in your life keeps reoccurring then this thought is not entering your mind by accident.

Loyalty or guilt ridden loyalty is another prominent feeling that we all feel at some time especially when we are contemplating change whether it be a personal decision or a professional decision. It is at times hard for us to remember that we must be loyal to our vow to be the best that we can be and be happy with who we are before we can honor any commitment or obligation to others. A partner who does not want you to be happy and wants you to stay with them out of guilt is like a ship with a hole in the bow; it will never float. If a boss cares about you as a person then he/she will encourage you to be the best that you can be and to embrace any opportunity to follow the yellow brick road to happiness.

Passive aggressive tendencies also rear their heads in a big way when you are thinking of moving the roots in your life.  We tend to hide what we want or what we need to please others and to avoid conflict while we are slowly sinking into the pool of unhappiness. The people pleasing path does not cause any conflict in your life, but it does cause conflict in your emotional well being because resentment comes to the surface. This path is easy as it requires no physical action from you, but your life stays the same.

Are you a lazy person? Had you rather whine about what needs changing in your life than actual do something about it?  Who is not guilty of this? At times we will try to justify our lack of action and tell ourselves that our happiness does not matter, so why should we put forth effort to make a change. Change takes work. If you feel emotionally drained and the strength to fight for change is not there, relax and rebuild your body, soul, and mind. The first step is to surround yourself with positive people. Do not allow the negative energy of your surroundings to drain you.

The little voice (your Chimp- I will explain this later in a book review) that causes conflict in your head always wants to focus on the negatives of change.  If you do make a change, what is the worst that could happen? If you can handle the worst then what are you waiting for?

We only get one shot at this life. There are no dress rehearsals or second acts and the minutes continue to tick away……..

Love to all.

Thank you, Lori!

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