How can you forget how blessed you are and not be happy? Most people have certain freak out times in their lives that they will never forget. I have a few periods of my life that I will never forget, but the most recent freak out was the spring of 2014.
I was retiring from my job in education after twenty-eight years that went by in a flash of light. I was experiencing problems with friends and a boyfriend relationship, and I was going to be a Gigi (a grandmother), and I would be turning 50 in September. Can we say emotional roller-coaster from hell?
My decision to retire was a hard one, but after seeing the financial breakdown, it was the smart thing to do. I loved the people that I spent my day with in the office, and I enjoyed the administrative parts of my job. I did not enjoy grading one hundred essays a week during certain weeks of the school year. I loved helping other instructors and being the go to girl for online English problems. It was rewarding, and I felt like I was actually making a contribution to the online program at ICC to move in a forward motion. When I saw on paper how my salary would increase if I stayed four more years, I realized it would not be the right choice for me to stay. I am a breast cancer survivor who does not believe in counting on tomorrow. At this point, my prognosis is good (if I change my life style), but how mad at myself would I be if I worked more years and then realized that my time on this earth was up. This was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. What would be my new normal?
I am a Virgo control habitual list making freak, so change sometimes throws me for a loop for a little while. I did have a deep desire to live somewhere else for a while and travel, so that is what I did-hence the Charleston and Costa Rica trips. I still plan to travel a lot and meet new people and see new places. Who knows where I will end up, but I know it will be a fabulous place. My heart is beating a little faster as I think about the places I am going to go one day.
I had an amazing support system. I cannot say thank you enough to my friends who have stood by me and checked on me where ever I was. The hugs, lunches, daily counseling sessions and pep talks from my friends were my shelter in the storm. My friends believed in me when I felt emotionally drained. They said, “Go for it. What is the worst that can happen? If you can handle the worst scenario then you got this.” I cannot thank my daughters enough who were excited about my adventures and encouraged me ever step of the way. My family was supportive but worried.
A grandmother in September- Wow! My kids are not old enough to have kids! Oh wait, they are 27 and 24. I guess they are old enough. I think the first shocking thought was “My baby is having a baby”! To make it even more interesting, it is a boy baby. I know baby boys pee in your face and love Bob the Builder. Who is Bob the Builder? Is that Barbie’s friend? Am I old enough to be a Gigi- Yes, I am.
I am excited about this new addition to my life that I will love very much. I have a great rocker thanks to Jane’s grandmother, and many books to read to my grandson. I love to rock and read as we called it when the girls were little. I can give him candy, and I do not have to pay his dental bills. My daughter and son-in-law will be amazing parents, and the support system they have is unbelievable.
I will be 50 in September. Do I feel 50? No, and those that know me will definitely agree that I do not act my age even though sometimes I guess I should. I do try to preserve my face and exercise – Yes, I have a vain and shallow side. Doesn’t everyone? Thank you Retina A and Botox.
This made my thoughts go in a different direction. What have I done with my time on this great earth? There are so many things that I could have done better, but no dress rehearsal is allowed, and don’t you hate that phrase about hindsight is 20/20? You get one shot, and it passes by so fast. What could you do better? I have so many things that I need to work on in my life to make me a better person; I want to be loving and kind to everyone and never cold and judgmental.
My new normal for now is teaching a couple of online classes and working part-time for a great business; therefore, I am a very busy lady as I wait to be a Gigi. I hope to declutter my house soon, get the little trees out of the flower beds when I have time, and Thursday night starts this Ole Miss girl’s football season. Hotty Toddy!
My feet are on the ground now. I am still finding my way and adjusting to the changes in my life, but my life is good. I hope your life is good also.
Audrey Hepburn was an amazing classy lady. Cheers to her!