And why are these books still on my mind?
The focus for many of us was not the Dominant Submissive Lifestyle introduced to the reader. The fame and acclaim of the book could not have been achieved if that was the primary focus of the book. E L James carefully intertwined the basic fantasies/needs of most women:
- Financial Security
- Emotional Security
- Wonderful sex
Financial security is one of the primary needs of a woman, and I do not mean that women want only rich men. We need to feel secure in as many aspects of our life as humanly possible. By accepting his love, most choices and decisions for Anna are his to make. Money is no longer a concern which is a major concern in most people’s lives. Do I drive to work or will someone drive me? What will I eat for breakfast? Well, whatever you tell Ms. Jones to cook is what you can have for breakfast. Security through money would allow someone to focus on sex. No grocery shopping, no car repair, no housework, no worries about paying the rent- Yes, we could focus on pleasurable activities if we were not worried about time restraints and how we were going to pay our bills this month.
Emotional security is another primary need, and the love in this book is over the top and almost suffocating, but it is constructed as to say to the reader that he means well and his controlling tendencies are frosted with good intentions. She knows that his love is deep, and that she is the only one and that he will do whatever he needs to do to keep her happy and in his arms. Who does not want that?
Sex in this book is taken to a level that many women never imagined existed. How many men have that sex drive? How many women can have an orgasm on command every time? (Of course, we do not have Christian Grey in the bedroom.) The reader is introduced to the BSM lifestyle, sex toys and other sexual aids that most did not know existed. I mean really, my friends, who shops at the hardware store for sexual props. While shopping at Lowe’s or Home Depot, I had never thought about what I could use in the bedroom.
I prefer this online store to the hardware store:
Adam and Eve Adult Store – Shop Erotic Adult Toys and Novelties
It will arrive in a non-marked bag so the mailman or your children do not hyperventilate, and it will not appear on your bank statement as the “sex store purchase”, so go shopping!!
When something stops working, let this company know. Excellent customer service.
While most of us are not powerful bizzillionaires, it is nice to think that one of these types would be interested in a “normal person” who only has her love to give. It deflates the theory of rich attracts rich and proves to the reader that love is more important which provides the middle class girl with hope for an Audi Submissive Special and a new wardrobe chosen by the Neiman Marcus personal shopper.
Does it provide us with a healthy dose of realism? Uh, no! Why would we read it if it did?
For mature women, it was a great read and an escape to a very sexual entertaining place. Many men hope and pray for E L James to continue her career as new things were introduced to the bedroom and the interest in sex at home spiked. How can that be a bad thing? Well, if you think every man you meet is going to be like Christian Grey, or if it makes you expect too much from your partner then it could cause a problem. One woman told me that her husband was very sad that there was not a fourth book.
For younger women, it might prove a little troubling because as we know, someone that is 50 shades must want to help themselves, and most do not have the funds for years of therapy; therefore, you might want to run home to Mother if you are introduced to the Red Room of Pain then again you might want to stay.
James carefully constructed the support system of the family and the staff, but the focus was on Christian and Anastasia. I will admit that I missed them after I finished reading the books for the fourth time.
For my guy blog friends: Dave Barry Learns Everything You Need to Know About Being a Husband From Reading 50 Shades of Grey