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You are not a tree.

Why would you stay somewhere when you are not happy?

This somewhere could be a job that is not challenging or fulfilling, a relationship where there is no love or passion and many other “somewheres” that only you know in your heart. Fear, loyalty, passive aggressive tendencies, and laziness – four reasons people choose to be stay somewhere they do not want to be.

Fear is something that we all feel on a daily basis. Some are good at pushing it under the carpet and trying not to focus on what they fear while others confront fear head on and try to figure out why they are fearful of change. Is it because life as they know it will never be the same?  If “same” is so great then why do you feel that pull toward change. We say to ourselves, “Something has got to change, but then we do nothing to make it happen.” If the thought of changing something in your life keeps reoccurring then this thought is not entering your mind by accident.

Loyalty or guilt ridden loyalty is another prominent feeling that we all feel at some time especially when we are contemplating change whether it be a personal decision or a professional decision. It is at times hard for us to remember that we must be loyal to our vow to be the best that we can be and be happy with who we are before we can honor any commitment or obligation to others. A partner who does not want you to be happy and wants you to stay with them out of guilt is like a ship with a hole in the bow; it will never float. If a boss cares about you as a person then he/she will encourage you to be the best that you can be and to embrace any opportunity to follow the yellow brick road to happiness.

Passive aggressive tendencies also rear their heads in a big way when you are thinking of moving the roots in your life.  We tend to hide what we want or what we need to please others and to avoid conflict while we are slowly sinking into the pool of unhappiness. The people pleasing path does not cause any conflict in your life, but it does cause conflict in your emotional well being because resentment comes to the surface. This path is easy as it requires no physical action from you, but your life stays the same.

Are you a lazy person? Had you rather whine about what needs changing in your life than actual do something about it?  Who is not guilty of this? At times we will try to justify our lack of action and tell ourselves that our happiness does not matter, so why should we put forth effort to make a change. Change takes work. If you feel emotionally drained and the strength to fight for change is not there, relax and rebuild your body, soul, and mind. The first step is to surround yourself with positive people. Do not allow the negative energy of your surroundings to drain you.

The little voice (your Chimp- I will explain this later in a book review) that causes conflict in your head always wants to focus on the negatives of change.  If you do make a change, what is the worst that could happen? If you can handle the worst then what are you waiting for?

We only get one shot at this life. There are no dress rehearsals or second acts and the minutes continue to tick away……..

Love to all.

Thank you, Lori!

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1 Comment on Change

  1. Lori
    May 13, 2014 at 7:55 pm (6 years ago)

    Thank you. You have shown me and the world what a friend is and what we should all aspire to be. You have taught me that life is for living not to watch as it goes by. It is so much more fun being a participant instead of a spectator.


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